Overview:
After eight weeks of touring across the North American continent, Frank decided to hang out in New York for a month. This was mainly to rehearse and set in motion a series of wild concerts between Christmas and New Years. In the past, Frank held his big New York shows at the Felt Forum (known today as the Theater at Madison Square Garden), but starting this December he moved his stage to The Palladium, a venue he would return to many times for some of the best shows of his career. He was in New York primarily for this year-end run, but managed to make time for a number of other engagements, including announcing a Black Sabbath program, showing up at a Flo and Eddie concert, and being the musical guest on Saturday Night Live (where he met a number of the musicians he would employ for the big years-end shows). Running from the 26th to the 29th, these four nights are some of the best, and most fun shows Frank ever put on. With a wide array of new songs, a smattering of deep cuts, an amazing horn section, the return of Ruth Underwood, legendary tv announcer Don Pardo, all on top of a fantastically tight core group, this run was destined for greatness. All of the shows had a fairly standard setlist, but there were variations from night to night, both in the song order and how the tunes were played. I’m mainly referring to the solo sections, but Frank also changed up some of the arrangements and horn riffs between shows. He would also regularly stop to let the band breathe, and give some amusing introductions to the upcoming events (he talked so much in this run I’ve decided to post all of his intros at the bottom of this page, since I had to transcribe most of them anyway for my reviews). This run was put together pretty quickly, meaning the band was not given much time to actually rehearse all this new material. These are some of the least tight shows Frank was ever a part of, but honestly the raw, loose nature is kind of charming, and it can be fun to listen for the segments used in official releases when listening to these bootleg tapes (AKA hearing the duds FZ cut out). Frank used and edited these performances for release (and added some guitar overdubs), eventually completing the underrated masterpiece that is Zappa In New York (shorthand: ZINY, ZINYLP or ZINYCD, depending on the edition). Four decades later we get the momentous vault release creatively named the Zappa In New York 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition (or ZINY40 for short). This is an amazing release, compiling the best performances of the run into a fantastic, easily digestible package. Joe really did pick the cream of the crop from this run, and ZINY40 is pretty easily the best place to start for someone who really wants to delve into this short period of FZ’s career. That being said, since I am an uber-nerd, I would love to see an eventual full release of these shows. There’s absolutely enough material left off ZINY40 to warrant a full release, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw it come out sometime in the distant future (maybe ZINY60? 65?). This run marks the end of an era with Frank, in a way. His tours for the rest of the 70s would become very rock influenced, and I feel like with the addition of the horn section and the final return of Ruth, this run almost acts as a swan song to the Roxy era (even though it really ended two years prior). Frank produced tons of fantastic music after this run, but it has a distinctly different, again generally more hard rock-oriented, feel to it (compared to the jazzy, more improvised, whatever happens happens tone from the first 12 or so years of his career). Anyway, I love these shows, both released and unreleased, and whatever you find yourself listening to, be it The Black Page or Titties ‘N Beer, you’ll probably have a good time.
The Setlist:
Peaches En Regalia
The Torture Never Stops (on the 26th America Drinks was played instead)
The Black Page #2 (played twice on the 28th)
Punky’s Whips
I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth
Honey Don’t You Want A Man Like Me?
The Illinois Enema Bandit (followed by an Intermission on the 26th)
Sofa
I’m The Slime
A Pound For A Brown
The Black Page Drum Solo
The Black Page #1
Big Leg Emma
The Purple Lagoon (incl. Any Kind Of Pain on the 26th & The Be-Bop Tango on the 29th)
Find Her Finer
Manx Needs Women
Titties ‘n Beer
Cruising For Burgers (ends main set on the 26th and 27th)
Black Napkins (not played on the 28th)
Dinah-Moe Humm (played before Napkins on the 29th, ends main set on the 28th and 29th)
Penis Dimension (only on the 26th & 29th)
Montana (moved on the 29th, with Penis Dimension, between The Black Page #2 and Punky’s)
The Band:
Frank Zappa – Guitar, Vocals, Bandleader, Anti-Warner Bros Rhetoric
Ray White – Rhythm Guitar, Vocals, Assistant Illinois Enema Bandit
Patrick O’Hearn – Bass, Background Vocals, Any Kind Of Pain
Terry Bozzio – Drums, Vocals, Punky, Pickle
Eddie Jobson – Keyboards, Violin, Background Vocals, English-ness
Ruth Underwood – Inhuman Percussion, Synthesizer, Be-Bop Tango
Dave Samuels – Timpani, Vibes, Solos Where Ruth Can’t
Mike Brecker – Tenor Sax, Flute, Virtuosity
Randy Brecker – Trumpet, Some Skunk Funk
Lou Marini – Alto Sax, Flute, Blues Brother
Ronnie Cuber – Baritone Sax, Clarinet, Low Temperatures
Tom Malone – Trombone, Trumpet, Piccolo, Also a Blues Brother, Wazoo Dust
and Don Pardo on Announcements, Sophisticated Narration, and Dancing
Recordings Available:
1976 12 06 – Black Sabbath – Madison Square Garden, New York, NY (Audience B-)
There were loose plans for Frank to play a few songs with the legendary Black Sabbath at their New York show in late 1976. Frank was a fan of the band, and was happy to guest, but there was a lack of communication and he ended up not attending the soundcheck (if there even was one). Not wanting to risk sounding shitty on equipment he’s never played before, he decided to just watch the show instead. Frank is sitting in a box, waiting for them to come on, but Tony Iommi had to change strings last minute, and so the band asked Frank to talk to the crowd for a little to calm them down. He obliges, comes on stage and says: “I have an important, important service announcement. The members of the rocking teenage combo known to the universe as Black Sabbath are currently in the dressing room. They’re having a little bit of a problem. You see the tension has mount up, has mounted up, and will continue to mount up, and, uh, they broke some strings or something and are gonna be a couple of minutes late getting out here, so just be patient a couple more minutes, they’ll be with you, and, uh, we’ll get it.” The house plays Supertzar over the PA, and when the band finally makes it on stage Frank tells the rowdy audience: “I told you it wouldn’t take long, ladies and gentleman of New York, it is my pleasure to introduce you to: Black! Sabbath!” They open with Symptom of the Universe, and Frank sits back down to enjoy the show (in his own words he “sat there and marveled at it”… “by the side of the stage over by Ozzy’s orange juice”). The recording is pretty cruddy, but it’s cool to hear Zappa announce a show like this, something he very rarely did. For any Frank/Sabbath fans out there this is a must here, but most people won’t be missing much.
1976 12 07 – Flo & Eddie – The Bottom Line, New York, NY (Audience B)
Click here to listen and click here to watch
Frank shows up during (what I imagine is) the encore to a Flo & Eddie concert, and has a great time with the two former Turtles. They start with Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink, but after 30 seconds its clear the band doesn’t know this one at all, so they stop and play “a blues”: What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are? (“You two vaudeville entertainers look real far out and groovy”). Frank tells ‘em to “do it like we did in Detroit”, and we get a very shaky, but very enjoyable performance of the tune. The band is just barely following along, and Flo and Eddie just barely remember the words, but it’s still a lot of fun. The song falls apart around “the bullet” line, and Frank yells “alright now this is the hard part” before a rickety “if his dick is a monster” ending. After this they joke around for a bit (“Will you trade what he has in his pants for what I have behind this curtain?”), and then the band starts to play What Does It Take (to Win Your Love) by Junior Walker & The All Stars. Mark and Howard sing the tune, while Frank plays a lovely guitar solo. After a little bit they yell “Albert Wing take it away”, and we get a lovely little solo from the future Zappa alum (Bruce and Walt Fowler were also in Flo & Eddie’s band at the time too). The fun little soul cover ends the recording, and the Turtles say goodnight. Video is also available from this performance, capturing the middle tune in sorta-professional color. An amusing moment in FZ’s career, possibly the only real live guest appearance he ever made (excluding his hosting the Amougies Festival in Belgium in 1969). Not wildly exciting, but a lot of fun and worth a quick listen.
1976 12 11 – Saturday Night Live – New York, NY (Official Released In Places)
Performances have been officially released on numerous SNL DVDs, but are also available to stream on Peacock (NBC’s streaming service).
“Ladies and gentlemen, a special Christmas treat, the mellow sounds of Frank Zappa!” Frank was the musical guest on this second season episode of Saturday Night Live (with Candice Bergen as the host). The program featured his core band plus a handful of SNL’s musicians and the unmatchable Ruth Underwood! (click here for a full list of musicians and tons of other information on tonight’s program). Zappa performs three songs, and acts in one sketch. The first tune is a fantastic version of I’m The Slime, with SNL’s announcer Don Pardo providing the second half of the lyrics and a lovely guitar solo. Frank returns later in the program for a very unique version of The Purple Lagoon (slash Approximate), with John Belushi as his character Samurai Futaba playing the saxophone and Frank conducting the band to mimic Mr. Belushi. A little while later, Frank plays the non-speaking suspect in the wildly mediocre Killer Trees sketch (a lame Christmas themed skit that should be avoided), and he returns a final time for a wonderful Peaches En Regalia (just slathered in guitar). Terry takes a drum solo, they play the very ending of RDNZL (which is technically a quote from Dupree’s Paradise) and the night comes to a close after this. All three of these arrangements were later used for Frank’s big run at the Palladium a couple weeks later. I’ve never seen this full episode, but I’ve seen the musical performances many, many times. Frank made a really great guest on this performance, and he seemed to compliment the show’s structure very well, using members of the studio band and even John Belushi to add to the music and create a one time live event. Check this show out!
1976 12 26 – Palladium, New York, NY (Audience B/B-)
The first momentous show of Frank’s legendary December ‘76 New York runs comes on the night after Christmas. It’s the shortest of the four shows, and in some ways the least exciting, but it has enough unique events to prove that it belongs with the rest of the run. It’s probably the second worst sounding show of the four (only the audience tape of the final show sounds worse), but it’s still a very listenable recording. The evening begins with a wonderful run-opening introduction from Mr. Don Pardo [“The Most Important Musical Event Of 1976” as heard on ZINY40], and the music starts with the fantastic live return of Peaches En Regalia. After Peaches, Frank comes out and wishes the crowd “Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, all that crap”, and proceeds to introduce the show and next two tunes, America Drinks and The Black Page #2. The former song is not standalone like it’s presented on ZINY40, but instead the two songs are combined into a sort of weirdo medley (parts of Frank’s intro were used to open disc three on ZINY40). America Drinks begins the medley of two, and we get a lovely, swinging, crooning, lounge-y performance of the tune (basically the same as the ‘72 Petit Wazoo arrangement). There’s a cool, free jazz-ish trumpet solo following the theme, which leads right into the Black Page #2 (it actually overlaps the vamp for a few seconds). We get a solid, slower performance of the tune that eventually concludes like it does on ZINY, but with an additional short, fast reprise of the theme of America Drinks thrown in at the very end. This debut performance is really cool, because it shows how the ending of the released version of The Black Page #2 evolved from the America Drinks medley into a standalone number, while still keeping parts from the “combination” arrangement (perhaps most notably the ending drum sting). America Drinks was included on ZINY40, but with the Black Page segments (mostly) edited out (Joe also seemed to clean up the piece a little, expertly hiding errors). Now it’s time for another world premiere: Punky’s Whips (“this is one of the brand new ones.”). We get a slower take with a nice intro from Don. It’s far from a perfect performance (Terry fucks up the order in the first “gay” and “queer” verse, which ruins the rhyme scheme), but it’s still very enjoyable. Frank used some bits of the 26th’s take for his official edits (like he did every performance), mainly the Isn’t It Romantic quote around two minutes in. There’s a fun, goofy slide whistle right at the end of the Romantic quote that I really like but Frank chose not to use. We get a very nice solo like always, then Frank tells us that “now we have something quiet for you, this is a ballad, and, uh, it’s also a new song, the name of his song is I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth”. It’s another great take of this sadly forgotten tune; Frank didn’t release anything from tonight’s take, but Joe used the solo section on ZINY40. A beautiful version, but parts of the ending are a little sloppy, so I see why it wasn’t used in full. Honey Don’t You Want A Man Like Me? returns immediately following this. It’s a solid take; Ray chumps “the drinks were cheap, it was ladies night” section and they almost fall apart, but parts were good enough for Frank to use. Like with Punky’s and Promise, Frank used sections from almost every performance, and for the 26th’s Honey, he used the intro and Terry’s “It made me so angry” until “through the curtain” on the ZINY LP. Now we have “a kind of a song that actually requires the services of a professional NBC announcer.”: The Illinois Enema Bandit. Frank hands it away to Don, but it takes him a second a second to actually start the intro (“Take it away Don… Don, take it away!!!), and we’re treated to a solid but ultimately disappointing take of the classic tune. Ray gives it his all vocally, but it’s his first live take of the tune ever, so there’s naturally some mistakes and weak points (most notably near the end). Ultimately the biggest let down is that we only hear a single solo tonight. It’s from Ray, and we get one of the shortest Enema Bandit solos around. It’s not a bad take, but it’s clearly the worst of the four from this run. Over the ending chords, Don Pardo announces Intermission (“And that’s not all ladies and gentlemen, there’s more, more, more! When they come back, back, back! You can relax for a few moments up there in popcorn-land because it’s INTERMISSION!”), and then the band takes their breaks (this is actually the only show with an intermission, FZ clearly never loved having them). They return and Frank announces “a waltz for you”, leading to a very pleasant performance of Sofa #2. Next, Frank stops yet again to introduce our announcer. “Alright, ladies and gentleman, I mentioned in the radio spots that were attendant to this program that Don Pardo was actually going to be seen live by the human race here on stage tonight, Now this is the song where we actually reveal the wonderment that is Don Pardo.” Frank goes on to talk about Don’s bad memory, how he is currently writing down the lyrics to the song on cue cards as he is currently speaking, and announce I’m The Slime. We get a sorta shaky, very quick take of the head (Don fucks up the lyrics, but it’s charming), followed by an excellent solo that Frank used for the CD release of ZINY (minus one 13 second segment). This is followed by a lovely transition into a Pound For A Brown, the same take later released on the ZINY CD (Frank included most of the performance, but tweezed 90 seconds off the end of his solo, dropped the drum solo, and connected the end to some improvisation from the 29th). Ruth starts the theme too soon, which is audible on the audience tape but not the released version. Sidenote: I’ve always loved the little back and forth Don and Frank do at the end (“Hey, Frank! Hey, I did it, Frank!”). Anyway, It’s a fantastic take of the Uncle Meat piece, with a lovely guitar solo and a rocking drum solo from Bozzio that leads right into the fantastic medley of the two “hard” versions of The Black Page (The Drum Solo and #1). Both performances are surprisingly put together, thought the start of #1 is a little late (but only noticeable as an uber-nerd). The amazing art-rock pieces go right into one of Frank’s stupidest tunes: Big Leg Emma. It’s fun, but pretty much the same as always (except for the return of the slide whistle here). “And now, for a little piece of teen-age ecstasy that’ll give Patrick, our bass player, a chance to show off”: The Purple Lagoon. Tonight’s take is incredibly special though, because we get “an insert in that area, with a little bit of S&M allusion”, which is Frank’s way of saying that we get a very early performance of Any Kind Of Pain! Frank alludes to his SNL performance with John Belushi, then jumps right into the weirdo number. It’s a really cool version, basically just the themes heard on ZINY (with Patrick dropping a quote from Mo’s Vacation), sandwiching the chorus of Any Kind Of Pain, all performed with a glorious splendor by New York’s finest horn section (and released in full on ZINY40). Next we get a regular take of Find Her Finer (“Something to relax you with”), followed by a fun, sudden crash transition into Manx Needs Women. The opening chords of this tune are kind of dissonant and crunchy, but it quickly picks up steam and we get a sick, energetic take (99% of which is featured on ZINY40). A regular, short, uninspired Titties ‘n Beer follows this and a shaky segue brings us into a wonderful Cruising For Burgers. Joe chose this solo for the bonus release on ZINY40, and I can see why. It’s a contender for the best Burgers of the run, with fantastic playing throughout, and even a quote from Holst’s Jupiter in the middle. After this number they leave the stage, but the show isn’t over yet. Frank returns to introduce the entire band (he momentarily forgets Mike Brecker’s first name but he gets it right after), dodges some Dinah-Moe Humm requests, then brings us into a long, delicious Black Napkins. We get a beautifully arranged take of the theme, followed by terrific solos from Mike, Eddie, Randy, and Frank. FZ must have really like this version because he released the theme and Mike’s solo on YCDTOSA#6, and he also prepared a longer edit with his own solo that was later released as a bonus on ZINY40. Mike’s solo is simply stunning, but the rest are no joke too. Frank is clearly making up the solo order as the tune progresses (“Hit it Mike!” And “[Randy] How ‘bout you play a solo on this”), and Patrick sorta quotes Miles Davis’ Honky Tonk under FZ’s solo (which becomes a recurring trend throughout the run). After this beast Frank pitifully says, “I told you earlier that we would do Dinah-Moe Humm, so I guess we have to do it. I do get tired of doing that song, but if that’s your idea of a good time you got it.”, and proceeds to play the dumb sex song. We get a standard, deluxe version of the tune, followed by another encore break, and a final return for the night. He tells the roaring crowd that “We have prepared this medley see, we have these two songs that are stuck together. One of them you might remember and the other one I’m sure you’ll remember. The only problem is that hooking them together, we didn’t really practice it very much, so it might fuck up when we stick ‘em together. But the first song is, uh, I won’t even tell you the name of it.” They fly right into a wonderful Penis Dimension, with a crazy horn solo and lovely, abrupt, correct transition into Montana! Frank plays a great solo and we get an excellent ending crash to finish off the night. Though this is pretty easily the least interesting of the four shows, it still has a lot to offer! Plenty of unique moments and wonderful improv more than make up for the shakey vibe. I’d recommend all these shows, but this isn’t the most vital one (especially now that we have the wonderful ZINY40).
1976 12 27 – Palladium, New York, NY (Audience A-/B+)
“Good evening! Why it’s Santa Claus!” Show number two of the run outshines the last one, and sounds fantastic too. It’s captured on three different quality recordings, leading to a very pleasant listening experience. The best (A-) sounding tape has some speed problems, but is overall excellent and covers the first 40 minutes or so of the night. “We’re gonna start off with uh, a song that we get a lot of requests for but we don’t often play because we don’t often have this kind of a deluxe, elaborate New York kind of a set up. The name of this song is Peaches En Regalia” It’s far from the neatest take of the tune, but it’s still a lot of fun, and a great way to start these shows. We get a slightly longer drum transition than usual into our new second number replacing America Drinks: The Torture Never Stops. It’s a wonderful take (fully released on ZINY40), with a fantastic solo and an odd shoutout to Nils Lofgren. Frank really like this Peaches>Torture combo, because he kept it around for over a year (until mid-’78). Next is a shaky but incredibly passionate Black Page #2 that made me write “sick AF” in my notes. Joe used most of FZ’s outro on ZINY40, but left out the amusing but mildly insulting line “Actually we played that wrong”. After this we get another momentous Punky’s Whips, “and this is a very special event because tonight is Terry Bozzio’s birthday”. Frank laments Terry’s “sick”-ness, then introduces Don, but Mr.Pardo starts the intro speech too early (“Hey! Wait, wait! Wait! Not yet. Okay, just wanted to see if it was working.”). It’s a great take of the tune, possibly the best Punky’s of the run, and it’s nearly completely released on ZINY40. Joe used the whole spoken intro too, and only switched out a short section (in the midst of the ending “chiffon in a wrist array” breakdown) likely because of an error on the 27th. FZ used many little parts here and there for his multiple versions. We once again get an awesome solo in this sick tune, then when it ends Frank proclaims “our birthday boy, Terry Bozzio! Sad but true”. Next up we have a “a tender succulent number entitled I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth”. Tonight’s take is lovely, Frank used a lot of it on ZINY and Lather, and it’s used as the main body for the reworked-CD release. FZ tells us “Dinah-Moe’s later”, before starting the next tune in a vain attempt to get the crowd to quit asking. Honey Don’t You Wanna comes next, and even though they botched the intro, Frank was able to use a good chunk of the middle for his releases. “And now, a true story with another fantastic introduction brought to you through the courtesy of NBC. Take it away, Don Pardo!” This is the first worthwhile Illinois Enema Bandit from the run. Don gives an excellent intro (Joe used it on ZINY40), and Ray, despite fucking up and coming in too early at the very start, does an excellent job with the vocals. Everyday his performances get stronger, and the solo section does with them; Ray’s solo is hotter and more confident tonight, and Lou plays a sick alto sax solo after him. It’s disappointing when the improv ends without a solo from Frank, but when he starts playing over the “pumpin’ every one of ‘em” coda all (well, most) is forgiven. First he just starts singing with Ray (which is fun on its own), but then he starts playing with a fiery passion, and after about a minute some real sick horn stings come in to cement this as a solid performance. No intermission tonight (or any night after the 26th), but Frank instead jumps right into introducing the next song. “This is a song from an album that we made that didn’t really sell worth a shit, but y’know, can’t win ’em all… I thought it was a very nice album, but y’know when you’re dealing with a company like Warner Brothers you just can’t be sure you’re gonna get results when you put out a piece of product like that. But anyway, here’s one of the, actually one of the more tune-ful tunes from the album, a waltz entitled Sofa #2”. We get a wonderful take (the one Frank chose to use on ZINY), and we’re quickly introduced to the next piece: I’m The Slime. Frank is excited about the light show/projection behind him (“a flashback to the Fillmore East in the late 60s…, pulsating blobs and everything!”), and introduces Don yet again. It’s a lovely take, the theme is used on the ZINYCD, but the solo is great too (though a little short). Frank tells the legendary announcer “C’mon dance a little bit, get down Don Pardo, get down, down, down” and later commands him to “do the Philly Dog”. We get a sloppy segue into another excellent Pound For A Brown, which Frank played around with releasing, and Joe finally let loose on ZINY40 (the bonus take contains about half of the head and 98% of Frank’s solo). Next we get more great performances of the Black Page Drum Solo/#1 and of course, Big Leg Emma (also great, but in a different way). “Alright. This next number is a uh, this is going to go into mysterious zones, this particular piece. We’ve never played it in this form; tonight is our new experimental version of a tune called the Purple Lagoon.” Frank goes on to say that “the central area in this tune will purportedly contain many hot licks” and he is more than correct. We get the pseudo-free jazz version of this weird-ass song, with a sick drum intro, and tweaky solos from Randy, Ronnie and Patrick. It’s not quite as successful as the next two night’s uber-monster takes, but it’s still a great version with some wonderfully abstruse solos over a very loose backing. Frank used the theme (but not Patrick’s intro bass solo-ette) as the head of the released version on ZINY. Next “it’s time to relax again”, and play Find Her Finer (“we actually had the audacity to release this song as a single—obviously it won’t go anywhere, it’ll go the same place as that other song we just played, Big Leg Emma, which was a single that we had out in 1967” – intro heard on ZINY40). We get a solid take of the dumb Zoot Allures tune, and a fun transition into Manx Needs Women (“watch out!”). Ruth absolutely kills the start of Manx; The rest is solid but probably the shakiest performance of the run (Ruth’s intro was so sick Joe used it on ZINY40, before cutting to a different take). Then we get a smooth transition into the one and only Titties ‘n Beer. This is a great version, with lots of fun improvised dialog, including mentions of Beelzebub (or as FZ says, Beezlebub), Smothers, the birthday boy Terry Bozzio, his then partner Dale, FZ’s manager Bennett, and some classic goading of the audience. It’s a great one, and a no-brainer why Joe included the whole thing on ZINY40. Another sick Cruising For Burgers comes next. Frank blows us away with another crazed not-as-good-as-the-released-takes-but-still-superb solo, and brings the main set to a close. Joe used the head of Cruisin’ for the ZINY40 version, and the solo was released as a bonus for Alex Winter’s Kickstarter. They leave the stage, they return, Don Pardo gives his “awe-inspiring, mind-boggling, crotch-throbbing” encore speech (The version from the 29th was released on ZINY40 as “The Greatest New Undiscovered Group In America”), and Frank takes us into another fantastic Black Napkins. We get wonderful solos from the usual contenders (In order: Randy, Eddie, Michael, Frank), and FZ’s is nearly 10 minutes long! It’s probably my least favorite of the three Black Napkins from this run, but they’re all uniquely amazing and worth checking out. It ends with a big, lovely crash, leads into our second encore break. Frank returns with “the song which is the real reason why most of you came to the show tonight”: Dinah-Moe Humm. A solid performance, with the amusing yells “Hey get down Frank! Get up Frank!”, pointed at himself, and after this the show comes to an end yet again, that is until we get to encore #3! “We’re gonna do our sterling imitation of a human jukebox again and play another hit for you, the name of this song is Montana”. We get a fantastic, crazy funky version to finish the night off. Frank’s Montana solos from this run are all fantastic, and it’s such a shame these are (with the exceptions of Early ‘77 and Late ‘84), basically the last solos Frank regularly played in this tune. Montana finally brings this wild night to a close, and they leave the stage for another 20-something hours. Every moment of each of these shows just ramps up, and tonight is no different. It’s a little more experimental than the 26th, but not quite as crazy as the upcoming two nights. Still, it’s well worth checking out, because If you enjoy ZINY, I think you’ll enjoy any of these shows. On top of that this is probably the best sounding audience tape from December, and makes for a very listenable full show experience.
1976 12 28 – Palladium, New York, NY (Audience B+)
“Good evening folks! Alright, okay in the balcony, okay in the mezzanine, okay in the back, okay in the front. Well we have a whipping little program for you tonight folks… Some of you won’t like it, some of you will like it alot, and the rest of you will keep asking to hear Dinah-Moe Humm”. Show number three continues where night two left off with fantastic, weird, fast paced music designed to melt your brain (or at least I assume so). This show is captured on a pleasant, clear recording, which makes for a very enjoyable listening experience. Tonight’s “show is dedicated to several people who happen to be in the audience tonight, there’s Ruth’s mother, Ruth’s sister Freckles, Ruth’s brother Charlie and Howard Shore, who lent us the musical parts for the arrangement that we’re going to play right now, a song called Peaches En Regalia”. It’s a fantastic take, maybe the best of the bunch, which is probably why Joe decided to use it for ZINY40. It leads right into the only unreleased take of the The Torture Never Stops from December. It’s a really cool performance, with Frank using some really, neat, weird trippy tones and effects with his guitar (“that’s right!”). Like last night, this leads right into the Black Page #2. Tonight’s is the version used on ZINY, so we know it’ll be good. It starts with the sick guitar licks heard on the album (which is honestly probably just FZ tuning), and Frank’s amusing introduction (which is fairly edited on the album – see below for the full transcription), before we’re thrown into the majesty of the Black Page. They finish, FZ asks the iconic “Did anybody dance?”, then has a realization that someone in the horn section was playing the wrong part (“Y’know what, you were supposed to play that on the alto sax remember? It’s much nicer when he plays it on the alto then you get it in fourths all the way though, y’know what I mean?). Frank decides that they’re gonna “play it again just so you can hear it correct”, so they tune up (““I’m so glad I don’t have to play this song”) and we get another performance of the iconic composition. (Fan: “Do It right”, FZ: “That’s right, do it right, that’s what I always say!”). Interestingly enough, Frank chose the first take from tonight’s show to release. I guess he liked the different sound after all. He talks to the audience some more, lets us know “that a little later in the program we are going to play the hard version of The Black Page”, and responds to more song requests (“Yes of course, Dinah-Moe Humm, I know why you came down here.”). “Oh you wanna know where Don Pardo is? Good thing you asked because he is here and he is involved in the next number…The name of this song is Punky’s Whips”. We get another great performance, with a very cool solo (though probably the least successful of the 4). FZ used many small chunks from the first five minutes of the tune in his released versions, but none of the solo. Next up is “a, uh, quiet song”, with the lovely name I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth. Tonight’s performance of the theme is excellent, which is why Frank and Joe both used it for official releases. The solos are very nice, as always, but these are still probably the lame-est of the run. Honey comes next; Most of the tune is on ZINY40, and small parts of the end used by FZ, but overall it’s a standard take of the non-standard sex song. The legendary Illinois Enema Bandit comes next, and we get the fantastic performance released on ZINY40, with lovely solos from Ray, Lou and Frank (finally in the normal spot!). Ray is great throughout, but Joe removed a scream of his near the very end of the tune (maybe it clipped the mic or something?). Anyway, it’s a great version of the tune, simply one of the best out there, and leads right into Frank’s long intro to Sofa #2 (heard on ZINY40). He talks about how the album “didn’t sell worth a shit”, drags Warner Brothers through the mud, and talks about how Marty Perellis thought this upcoming “song was gonna be a hit.” Sofa is the take used on ZINY40, and it is absolutely lovely as always. After this we go into the now traditional Don Pardo intro (tonight’s is on ZINY40 – “He’s going to come out, he’s going to expose himself. He may even circulate among you. We don’t know how crazy he could get”), and head right into I’m The Slime. It’s a sick take, Frank burps in the middle of the tune, then laments that he should have waited a line to belch, and ends the vocal portions with “People look at Don go”. He plays an awesome solo, tells Don to “give me five”, then sends him off as they begin A Pound For A Brown. Frank plays a very nice, melodic solo, and Terry follows it with his usual fury. We then get the hard versions of The Black Page (drum solo and #1), followed by the dumb 60s favorite Big Leg Emma (“How many people here tonight used to go to the Garrick Theater and hear that song? A mere fistful that’s good!”). All three of these takes are basically perfect, so Frank released each of them on ZINY (with a standard handful of overdubs). Next up is the Purple Lagoon, but FZ has changed this up yet again. This time there’s an “insert”. He goes on to say that “the insert in this case will be a reprise of the vamp from a Pound For A Brown, during which members of the horn section in all their splendid radiance will improvise and all kinds of peculiar things will happen on stage of a spontaneous nature, and of course, the light show!” We get what I would call THE monster song of the run. A nearly 35 minute extravaganza featuring solos from the entire horn section, two solos from Dave (one on timpani and one on vibes), a sick section from Patrick, and a “big bongo solo” from Big Ruth herself. Frank used Mike and Randy solo’s, and Patrick’s opening bass solo on ZINY, and he overdubbed his guitar on top of Dave and Ruth’s drum solos, once again creating a new piece of music using an existing jam. Once the tune finally concludes, he names all the soloists, and ends with “then we went back to the top and it was too fast” (which is why he used the outro from the previous night). “So now ladies and gentleman, I know you came here for mere entertainment and so we have some of that for you… The name of this song is Find Her Finer. Hey Ruth, will you leave that drummer alone so he can play the fucking song?” After chiding Ruth, we get a regular take of the dumb little Zoot Allures song, followed by a long intro to Manx Needs Women (the same heard on ZINY40). FZ talks about how it “used to be called “Mars Needs Women”, but he eventually got inspired by Bozzio’s many trips to New York’s Gilded Grape and encounters with their MC (“A man, a great man, a great MC, right up there with Don Pardo, a man that we have named Manx”). We get a solid performance of the strange little number, followed by an excellent transition into a great Titties ‘N Beer (“Alright back to the real world again”). Lots of improv tonight, with references to Punky Meadows, American interests, and even the Exorcist (Terry: “Your mother sucks cock in hell!”). “Alright this is another one of those, this is another one of those, uh keep talking Frank until everybody gets ready numbers. The name of this song, folks, lemme get my guitar, the name of this song is Cruising For Burgers.” This is the only fully unreleased take of the song from this run, and while it’s still a good take I can see why. Frank plays around with the Hawaiian War Cry quote, and provides some very nice outro licks, but the main solo is definitely number four out of four. “Okay, all right. This is it. Yes, yes, yes. We’re here to please. It’s Dinah-Moe Humm time… All right!” [as heard on ZINY40]. We get a surprisingly great version of this frequently played, infrequently different tune. Frank quickly gets distracted by some antics in the audience. Someone passes him something early on (“we have to use these in the program… I collect these”), and this puts FZ in a good mood (despite the song he’s currently playing). He comments that the “kiss my aura” section “is the part of the song I really like”, and gives his rabid New York fans a chance to sing this dumb tune, or just scream into the mic (“We must go back to the beginning so that we can get to the important part of the song, which is where, yes you! You with that hat! You with that jacket! You with those glasses, you will sing along with us!”) Frank outros the band, cues a massive, chaotic musical crash, and finally brings this monster show to an end. The band leaves, Don once again provides his “unspeakably marvelous” encore speech, and they come back out for an excellent performance of Montana (“I don’t suppose it really matters if I’m in tune, what the hey it’s rock n roll”). This is a fantastic take, and I’m grateful it’s been officially released on ZINY40. Frank tells New York, “Goodnight! You’ve been a red hot audience!”, and tonight’s concert is officially over. This show, like the rest, is truly fantastic, and, like the other three, has some truly fantastic moments all FZ fans should hear.
1976 12 29 – Palladium, New York, NY (Audience B/B- w/ 30 min of B+ segments)
“Well, ladies and gents, welcome to the last of our New York concerts, and I’d like to say that we have enjoyed hitting on this series of shows for you and we’re gonna try and make this one the very best, most special one” The final show of this run is every bit as exciting as you’d hope. It really feels like the last three nights have been leading up to this crazed monster of a show. The recording of tonight’s show is pretty rough; It’s probably the worst audience recording we have, but there is another shorter tape covering about 30 minutes from the middle of the show that sounds pretty good (including I’m The Slime, A Pound For A Brown, The Black Page #1 and part of Approximate / The Purple Lagoon). Luckily, almost all of this show has been officially released on the various editions of ZINY throughout the years, so most of this audience recording has been made obsolete. Still though, it gives us context to these performances, and it gives us a chance to listen to this material in the order it was originally presented. It’s very nice to have this as a reference, but anything officially released from this show will sound infinitely better than this audience recording. FZ starts the last show by coming out and reading a note from a fan (“Please, give this to the Ohio Enema Bandit. We love your shoes.”) and chatting with the crowd a bit (“you guys are out of your fucking mind, aren’t you?”). “And tonight we’re going to open the same way we did for the last few nights, with a song that is very close to my heart, folks… Huh? “Muffin Man”? No, it’s not “Muffin Man,” no, guess again… No, wrong again, the name of this song is “Peaches En Regalia.” (Joe used FZ’s intro to start off the bonus content on ZINY40). Peaches is great, and leads right into a fantastic Torture Never Stops, the same take Frank used for the ZINYCD (he clipped out about a minute of extra soloing at the end of his improv on the released take). “All right, everybody get down and get funky. I mean, really, you know, f— Just as funky as— Just as funky as a donkey. You know what I mean?… While we get the groove going here for a little number entitled “The Black Page”. We get a lovely take of The Black Page #2 (as heard on ZINY40), followed by an approved fan request for Montana. Frank lets the crowd know that if they want Montana they’re gonna have to hear something weird first, gives the “two for the price of one” intro heard on ZINY40, and leads into a great version of Penis Dimension! Once again, it’s the same take released on ZINY40, but this time Joe edited out the false start of the first piece. We get a wonderful performance of the oft overlooked 200 Motels tune, that glides right into a show-stopping Montana. The tune is its same joyful self, but Frank’s solo is absolutely on fire. It starts slow, but ramps up in excitement, until we get some new, unique horn riffs over the solo and Frank kicks the song into maximum overdrive funk. All good things must eventually come to an end, and the tune concludes with Frank attempting to have the crowd sing along. Next is “one of the more spectacular events of the program.”, a perverted little tune named Punky’s Whips. Someone made a mistake with the microphones, because Frank stops Don and has the band restart the vocal intro. Anyway, tonight’s performance makes up the main body of the released Punky’s Whips on ZINY, and Frank used tonight’s solo in his final edit. It’s obviously a great take and leads into another excellent Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth. Frank used parts of this performance for his versions, but the complete 29th take has been released on ZINY40. The transition into Honey Don’t You Wanna is nice, but they vamp for about 30 seconds before actually starting the tune. Today’s is probably the best single performance of the run, and includes some parts Frank used, most notably the fan interaction heard of the Lather edit (“Fuck you too, buddy. You know what I mean? Fuck you very much.”). “And now folks, it’s time for Don Pardo to deliver our special Illinois Enema Bandit-type announcement.” We get the version heard on ZINY, but completely unedited. This means it’s a little sloppier (Frank tightened up a missed beat here and there), but we also get to hear Ray and Lou’s tasty solos that were excised from the final released take. Frank unfortunately shouts out Roy Estrada, redeems himself by singing a line of It Can’t Happen Here (just like on the record), and brings us into another beautiful performance of Sofa. “And now a little bit of nostalgia for the old folks, here we have the screen which will present to you the last tragic romance of those golden days at the Fillmore east when rock n roll groups had light shows and everything.” Frank then whips out another hot I’m The Slime (the version on ZINY40), with some lovely Don Pardo accompaniment (“33 years at NBC and it’s come to this…”). Frank comments on “the incredible dancing stylings of Don Pardo”, then leads us into a tasty Pound For A Brown (the theme of which is partially on ZINY40). Frank plays some sick guitar, and Terry follows up with a nice drum solo (now released on ZINY40). It leads right into fantastic performances of The Black Page Drum Solo, The Black Page #1 and Big Leg Emma (all three of which were released on ZINY40). Frank steps back up to the mic and gives a glorious introduction to tonight’s modified Purple Lagoon “ for all the jazz buffs and jazz buff-etts in the audience”. He tells us about the upcoming solos, and mentions that Ruth will play the Be-Bop Tango too! (This intro and entire performance were released on ZINY40, but Joe cut out Frank’s short aside about Ruth’s tits). It’s a fantastic performance that any Ruth fan needs to hear. Wonderful solos amidst a wonderfully weird soundscape created by Patrick and his fretless bass. “Alright, it’s entertainment time again”, meaning another Find Her Finer. Frank’s wife Gail appears at the end of the tune to get some “really good shots of the band”. FZ lets her run around the stage, comments that “she’s disguised as Linda McCartney” and that “You’ll know that the Golden Age of Rock & Roll is upon you when Paul McCartney comes out on stage and does that to Linda” (The whole extravaganza is on ZINY40). Frank then brings us “back into the world of weirdness ladies and gentlemen, momentarily, for a little tune that’s entitled Manx Needs Women.” (“I hope we get it right this time”). Frank cues the band to start, but hears a mistake (I assume), and quickly has the band delve into some spontaneous and chaotic improv (the same used to end Sofa on the ZINYLP and Pound on the CD Version). The madness dies down, Frank drops the iconic “and for our next number”, and brings us into the ZINY take of Manx Needs Women, which in turn goes directly into the released Titties ‘n Beer. It’s an iconic take with a long break to read a message from a fan, and a handful of references to the Devil’s famous pickle and the one and only Punky Meadows (Thankfully Joe released the unedited take as a bonus on ZINY40). After this they attempt a rickety segue into Cruisin’ For Burgers, but Frank decides to just stop and count the tune off to get a good version of the beginning (and just edit out the failed transition for the record). This leads into the amazing version of Burgers heard on the ZINY CD (Frank edited out about 60 seconds of guitar across the whole tune, and took out about 30 seconds of the theme). It’s stupendous take, includes a bit of Mo’s & Herb’s Vacation and leads right into tonight’s Dinah-Moe Humm. It’s a great take with lots of audience participation (Joe used it on ZINY40) and this leads us into the end of the main set. Frank brings the band down and introduces them, all while Patrick, Terry and the horns continue to play themselves into a frenzy (featuring quotes from A Pound For A Brown, Auld Lang Syne, and Sofa). It’s a riotous ending, and I’m really glad Joe included it on ZINY40. Frank ends it by announcing “the queen of rock & roll, Ruth Underwood!” and leaves the stage. This isn’t it though as Don Pardo returns to shout his “greatest new undiscovered group in America” speech (of course the one used on ZINY40), and Frank returns to tell a scathing story about Warner Brothers Records and play for us a mind-blowing nearly 30 minute Black Napkins (say it with me: released on ZINY40). We get great solos from Eddie and the Brecker Brothers, and Frank ends the affair with a 10+ minute monster of a solo that brings the entire December run to a close. This is an amazing concert, pretty easily one of the best and biggest of FZ’s career. Since nearly every section of this show has been released officially there isn’t much of a reason to listen to this audience recording, but we can still tell what a fantastic show this was by listening to the pieces released (and ZINY40 is basically a reworked/re-structured version of this show). Insane compositions, fantastic improvisations and musical surprises are what define this run, and this final show has examples of all three. Make sure to listen to whatever you can of this show, and the official releases are a great place to start.
The Songs Played (At The Palladium):
America Drinks – “It’s from the Absolutely Free album and it’s called America Drinks, but the way it’s arranged is it starts off with an imitation of an old time corny orchestra playing that kind of song, and then it goes out, it gets stranger and stranger until it goes into this other piece called The Black Page Part 2, and then after The Black Page Part 2 it comes back to a sort of really drunken version, y’know the ultimate perversion of the theme and then disappears at the end.” This 60s classic makes its final “deluxe” return at the first show of the run, in a delightfully weird medley with the Black Page #2 (The version on ZINY40 is edited to be standalone). It’s basically the same as the ‘72 Petit Wazoo arrangement (meaning it’s instrumental and there’s a few extra composed parts when compared to the original), except Frank sticks the “easy teenage New York version” of the Black Page after the solo section. After the Black Page proper, the event finishes with a combination of the two tunes. First is the shrieking horn part from the ‘72 America Drinks, with a very quick repetition of the first phrase of the Black Page thrown in, then a drum sting (also from the ‘72 America Drinks), and a very, very fast, abridged take of the main theme to the Absolutely Free tune. After the first concert, Frank decided to drop America Drinks, but he kept the majority of the combination ending, leaving off just the reprise of the main theme. This is why two chunks of the petit wazoo arrangement of America Drinks appear on the ZINY version of the Black Page, something that always confused me until I listened to this full run of shows. Overall, this band’s performance of this tune is great, and it’s kinda a secret gem amongst everything more well known from December.
Any Kind Of Pain – “We have an insert in that area, with a little bit of S&M allusion.” Surprise! This staple of the 1988 tour was actually written about 12 years prior. The chorus of this tune is inserted into the first show’s take of the Purple Lagoon, instead of the regular parade of solos. Frank and the band sung a bit of this tune in October in Boston, but here FZ has the chorus of the tune wonderfully arranged for this big band. It’s a great bit of conceptual continuity, and a highlight of the first show.
The Be-Bop Tango – This Roxy-era classic reappears at the end of the final Purple Lagoon extravaganza courtesy of Ruth Underwood. Ruth plays the melody of the entire tune on marimba (The Hook and everything) while Patrick provides a really cool, eerie, spacey, fretless bass backing. It’s a fantastic live moment, something that could only happen at a Zappa concert. Listen to it now on ZINY40!
Big Leg Emma – “How many people here tonight used to go to the Garrick Theater and hear that song?” Frank brought this dumb little 60s song back primarily for nostalgic New York reasons. The live tapes sound just like Zappa In New York, except that the official release has overdubbed guitar. It’s a wonderful version, and I especially love Terry’s yelling throughout. Frank changed the chorus order slightly from the classic ‘67 single. It originally went “put on weight”, then, “face broke out” and then the song ends with a “face broke out” repetition, but Frank switched the first two choruses for this revival so it now goes “face”>”weight”>”face” (which I think flows better and overall makes more sense). I also really love how this piece always follows the Black Page #1. What a delightfully stupid transition, really shows the breadth of Frank’s music.
Black Napkins – “And so, we’d like to dedicate this song to Mo [Ostin, the president of Warner Bros] and all of the rest of his business dinners for the rest of the year, may they all be accompanied by Black Napkins.” This Zoot Allures classic reappears on this run as a monster encore number for three of the four shows. We get a horn-laden arrangement of the beautiful theme, followed by 20+ minutes of improvisational heaven featuring the Brecker Brothers, Eddie Jobson on violin, and finally Frank on mind-melting guitar. The take from the 26th was partially featured on YCDTOSA#6, and Mike’s opening solo is just ridiculously fantastic. All three versions are worth hearing, though the 26th is probably my favorite (followed very closely by the 29th, which was the final song of the whole run!)
The Black Page Drum Solo/#1/#2 – “The reason it’s called the Black Page is that there’s so many dots on it that the page appears to change color… Just think of [it] as the missing link between Uncle Meat and the Be-Bop Tango.” This iconic composition debuts during this run. The three variations all appear exactly like they do on Zappa In New York (minus keyboard overdubs), except they were actually played in a different order live. The Black Page #2 was always played early on in the show (usually after The Torture Never Stops as the third song in the program), and the “hard versions” (The drum solo and #1) would come much later on, between Terry’s improvised drum solo in Pound For a Brown and Big Leg Emma. The Black Page #2 was originally played in a medley with America Drinks (at the first show), which is why the December ‘76 standalone arrangement shares part of the ending to the ‘72 America Drinks. These are the only shows where the “hard versions” were played, as every future band that performed The Black Page played some variation on #2. This is a truly fantastic composition, one of Frank’s all time greatest and most timeless pieces. If these shows are remembered for one thing, it may just be the debut of the Black Page.
Cruising For Burgers – This Uncle Meat tune has been completely rewritten, and Frank has outdone himself once again. For this run, we get a fantastic version of this tune, all instrumental, with a more epic feel and a momentous guitar solo. The version released on ZINYCD is a favorite of mine, and it’s a great representation of the tune, except that Frank cut out a 35 second segment of the head played by the horns (and also added some overdubbed guitar to the theme). I assume he wasn’t happy with any of the performances of this segment, so he decided to leave it in the editing room. Before his amazing guitar solo Frank would always play something called the “Hawaiian War Chant”, which is a Hawaiian traditional song from the mid 1800s. Again, this is a terrific version of this tune, easily my favorite around (though the ‘88 takes are close). The theme is one of Frank’s best melodies, and his guitar work just always blows me away. Try these Burgers as soon as you can.
Dinah-Moe Humm – “I told you earlier that we would do Dinah-Moe Humm, so I guess we have to do it.” This (in)famous Over-Nite Sensation tune returns to please another crowd. Performed as an encore or show closer, we get a pretty direct representation of the studio recording, with Ray and/or Eddie covering the Ike-ettes’ vocals from the record. Frank asks “And how ’bout you, Fauna?, Y’wanna?”, he skips the classic “zircon-encrusted tweezers” line, and then they repeat of the first half of the tune, but slowed way down and interspersed with amusing yodels from Ray (you heard me right, yodels). The 28th and 29th takes are easily the best, as they feature a ton of audience participation (screaming the lyrics while Frank holds the mic up to the front row). These are really amusing performances, but Frank is starting to get really tired of playing the tune (he makes negative comments about it in basically every show). But in the meantime, Patrick plays the hell out of his part, the yodel section is a lot of fun, and the expanded band is amazing so these are honestly some of the best Dinah-Moe Humm experiences out there.
Don Pardo Intro/Outros – Legendary Saturday Night Live announcer Don Pardo was a big part of the festivities of this holiday concert run. In addition to providing sophisticated narration for Punky’s Whips and The Illinois Enema Bandit and singing on I’m The Slime, Frank also wrote a few speeches for Don to read at precise moments. At the start of the very first show he announces “The Most Important Musical Event Of 1976” (As heard on ZINY40), and later on on the 26th he announces Intermission (“And that’s not all ladies and gentlemen, there’s more, more, more! When they come back, back, back! You can relax for a few moments up there in popcorn land because it’s INTERMISSION!”). For the final three shows, Don would announce the encores with “The Greatest New Undiscovered Group In America” speech (the 29th’s version is heard on ZINY40). These are great little addendums to these shows, and are one of the little things that makes them special.
Find Her Finer – “So now ladies and gentleman I know you came here for mere entertainment and so we have some of that for you.” This amusing Zoot Allures tune is a regular feature of the second half of these shows, fitting between the Purple Lagoon and Manx Needs Women. It’s basically what appears on the studio album, but a little faster and funkier (so overall better). The horns are wonderful (as always), and they really amp up this tune. The performance from the 29th is special as Gail Zappa comes on stage and interacts with her husband for a while. Far from Frank’s best song, and this isn’t ever the best version out there (1988 takes the cake), but it’s still fun when it rears its head (and makes sure to focus on Patrick when it does!).
Honey Don’t You Want A Man Like Me? – This perverted little tune reappears and sounds just like it does on Zappa In New York, except slightly sloppier. This is a (somewhat surprisingly) difficult song to play and Frank really had to use the best parts from every show, because I don’t think there’s a perfect performance from this run. The transition from I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth into this piece especially seemed to trip the band up. Overall though it’s a fun tune, one of Frank’s more successful sex songs, and these are some great versions (despite the errors).
I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth – “Now we have something quiet for you, this is a ballad, and, uh, it’s also a new song, the name of his song is I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth”. This beautiful little tune (retitled Läther later next year) makes its debut on this run. We get a lovely take of the theme of the piece, followed by two lovely solos, featuring Frank on guitar and Eddie on keys. The version released on Zappa in New York is a great example of this tune during this run, the only exception (minus the standard mistakes) was that Frank removed a 10 second section of the theme about half a minute into the piece. The section in question is repetition of the main theme played on guitar (right before the theme is played by the guitar and saxes). Frank must have thought the chunk was repetitive, and left it on the cutting room floor. Each performance also ended with a closing chord (left off the official release) that acted as a transition into Honey Don’t You Wanna. Overall, this is a ridiculously fantastic piece, one of the most beautiful things Frank ever wrote, and an easy highlight of the classic run. Each of Frank’s and Eddie’s solos are fantastic, and deserving of a listen. I also love that FZ gave a piece this beautiful such a vile name, only Frank. Like I said before, a terrific tune, and another reason to listen to this run.
I’m The Slime – This wonderful Overnite Sensation tune returns for this run arguably better than ever. We get the deluxe slime treatment here, the same heard on the ZINYCD. Frank sings the first half of the tune, but in place of the phrase “TV set”, FZ yells “take it away Don Pardo!” and the famous announcer rambles through the second half of the tune. Frank returns for “that’s right folks don’t touch that dial”, and Don comes out to dance, strut, and physically entertain the rabid New York audience. Frank then whips out an amazing, funky solo over some new, fantastic horn stings, and when he’s done we get a repetition of the intro riff that takes us directly into A Pound For A Brown. The arrangement, the horns, Don Pardo, Frank’s guitar, the smooth transition; All these factors come together to make my favorite version of this classic Zappa tune.
The Illinois Enema Bandit – The Enema Bandit returns once again, this time to terrorize New York. We get basically what’s on ZINY, but with a couple more solos. The released performance is from the final show, but Frank chose to edit out Ray and Lou’s solos before his own. They aren’t the most amazing solos, but they’re really fun to hear. This tune changed a little bit every night; The first performance only had a solo from Ray, the second had a solo from Ray and Lou in the middle, with some guitar action from Frank over the vocal coda. On the 28th and 29th we get tasty solos from all three contestants in the middle of the tune, and Frank plays over the ending once again during the final show. Generally we don’t get any horn stings/riffs over the solos, but there’s some over Frank’s solo on the 27th (mimicking “it must be just…”), and some classic blues riffs over Ray’s solo on the 28th.The vocal ending always goes a little crazy, but the released version on the 29th with the It Can’t Happen Here quote is by far the craziest. Overall this is a great run for this tune, Ray knocks the vocals out of the park, the soloists all deliver, and we get a high quality Enema Bandit experience.
Improvisations – This band didn’t venture into full blown complete “make something up” improvisation very much at all, but there are two really fun moments on the 29th. The first comes between Find Her Finer and Manx Needs Women. Frank is about to cue Manx, but isn’t happy with the start (or something), so he instead brings the entire band into pseudo-organized chaos for about 30 seconds, before smoothly transitioning into the “next number”. These are the improvisations heard after Sofa on the ZINYLP and Pound For A Brown on the ZINYCD. Also, at the end of the main set on the 29th when Frank is introducing the band, they play while Frank speaks, and continue to play for a little while after, leading to some great spontaneous improv with bits of A Pound For A Brown, Auld Lang Syne, and Sofa thrown in (this was released on ZINY40 as Finale). Some very fun moments, but the real improv is located in monster tunes like The Purple Lagoon and Black Napkins.
Manx Needs Women – This weird number returns for this run, and we get what’s presented on Zappa In New York (though the unedited live performances have Ruth much higher in the mix). On the last tour it was titled Mars Needs Women, but Frank was inspired by the band’s trips to New York’s Gilded Grape, so Frank renamed the tune after their MC, which they dubbed Manx. Always played between Find Her Finer and Titties N Beer. I like the smaller band performances too, but Ruth and the horn section make this version of Manx Needs Women really shine.
Montana – This Overnite Sensation classic returns after an 18 month absence and is funkier than ever. It’s a fairly regular arrangement, but the lush horn section makes these versions stand out. The “tiny horse” segment is once again played as an instrumental, and Frank plays some of the funkiest solos of his career, just non-stop dirty guitar. The 28th is probably the best regular performance, but the take from the 29th goes a little crazy with awesome unique horn stings over Frank’s solo. On the 26th and the 29th, the song is hooked up to the end of Penis Dimension, in a kind of weirdo “two for the price of one” medley. These are fantastic performances, and a great swan song for the Zappa Montana solo (There are two takes from the winter ‘77, and a handful from late 1984, but in my mind these are the real last Montana jams).
Mo ‘N Herb’s Vacation – The opening to this future orchestral epic is quoted a couple of times throughout the run. The first comes from Patrick during the opening night’s Purple Lagoon bass solo, and later Frank plays the theme during his solo in Cruising For Burgers on the 29th. It’s the same line later borrowed for Wet T-Shirt Night (“oh it’s wet t-shirt time again….”). Not a full song in any sense of the phrase, but it’s still really cool to hear the beginnings of this piece first appear during this run.
Sofa – “This is a song from an album that we made that didn’t really sell worth a shit, but y’know, can’t win ’em all… I thought it was a very nice album, but y’know when you’re dealing with a company like Warner Brothers you just can’t be sure you’re gonna get results when you put out a piece of product like that.” This One Size Fits All tune is beautifully rearranged for this big band, and the results are fantastic. It sounds exactly like what we’re used to hearing on Zappa In New York, but without Frank’s overdubbed guitar. Each performance contains different sax licks throughout, which is the easiest way to distinguish the takes. No German vocals this time, just the beautiful instrumental. FZ introduces this tune as Sofa #2, but that was the version with lyrics on One Size Fits All (though there is really no indication of what number is what version – see YCDTOSA#1). A wonderful tune, lovely to hear whenever Frank decides to revive it, and this version is no exception.
Peaches En Regalia – “Tonight we’re going to open the same way we did for the last few nights, with a song that is very close to my heart“. This Hot Rats timeless classic returns after a 5 year absence to fantastic results. It’s more rock-oriented than the studio take, but it’s a perfect fit for this band. The horns soar, Frank delivers a tasteful mini-solo, Terry goes crazy, and we get the only takes of this tune to feature the lovely Ruth Underwood. This piece opens each of the four shows, and always brings a smile to my face. Frank must’ve been very happy too, as he chose to continue opening with Peaches for his next three tours. This is a great version of this tune, absolutely jaw-dropping, and a wonderful introduction to each night.
Penis Dimension – This 200 Motels tune returns for two final performances (on the 26th and 29th), before returning to obscurity. The last time this tune appeared was with the Grand Wazoo Orchestra, and we get a very similar arrangement on this run. It’s all instrumental (thank god), and we get a fantastic sleazy big band take of the theme. Over the monologue section (“Hiya, friends. Now just be honest about it…”) from the studio take, we now get a hot sax solo from Mr. Lou Marini. The song abruptly ends after about a minute of soloing with a hard cut into Montana (Montana was played on its own, but Penis Dimension was not). Another lovely version of a forgotten tune. It’s not long, but it’s an easy highlight of the two shows where it’s featured.
A Pound For A Brown – “All right, we’re gonna make a dramatic segue into another song that emanates from the Uncle Meat album.” This timeless piece reappears once again, and is fantastic like always. We get what’s heard on the CD release of Zappa In New York, which is one of my favorite arrangements of this classic tune. Each performance features a delightful, five-plus minute solo from Frank, followed by a great drum solo from Terry. These jams are an underrated highlight of the run for me, and hold some of Frank’s best guitar of the year (maybe even of the 70s). This tune was always played following I’m The Slime (with a very nice, unique to late ’76/early ‘77 transition), and Terry’s drum solo would always lead into The Black Page Drum Solo. An excellent tune with excellent setlist placement. Man, is this a fantastic run of shows.
Punky’s Whips – “This is a special miniature oratorio, that features not only the drum sticks but the golden voice and perverted social tendencies of our drummer Terry Bozzio… and Don Pardo is gonna tell you about it right now” This deranged mini-rock opera debuts in New York. The take released on ZINY is edited from all four dates, but features an accurate depiction of how this song was played (well, minus the mistakes). Frank mentions at one point that the tune was originally called “Punky’s Lips”, but that they changed the name sometime in the recent past. Don Pardo delivers his famous intro, Terry belts (and drums) his heart out, the horns bathe us in lush textures and Frank brings it home with a tasty guitar solo. The horn riffs during Frank’s solo changed over the four nights. The 26th has one riff, the 27th and 28th feature an abridged version of the original riff, and the 29th has a completely new one (as heard on ZINY). This is a wonderful tune, and I wish I saw it get talked about more often. It’s insanely complex, funny and could sit right up there with the best of Frank’s work, and the fact that it premiers during this run makes these shows just that much more monumental.
The Purple Lagoon – This strange, avant-garde tune returns, freed from its chains as a show opener. The theme heard on ZINY is accurate to this run of shows, but wildly different from the previous and following tours. Here in New York, the theme is mixed with Zappa’s Wazoo/Roxy era tune Approximate, which is actually more of a rhythmic pattern than a song proper. Put simply, the head is 20 seconds of bass solo, 20 seconds of the Purple Lagoon and 40 seconds of Approximate. At the end of the tune, we get a unique re-arrangement of the Purple Lagoon theme, with another bass solo-ette and some extra accouterments unique to late 1976. Each night of the run contained a wildly different Purple Lagoon experience. On the 26th we don’t get any middle-improv, but instead we get a lovely early arrangement of Any Kind Of Pain! The next night FZ decides to mix things up, so we get a sick, 10 minute free-jazz improv section between the weirdo-composed moments. Frank goes even crazier on the 28th, and we get an insane 33 minute take with solos from Patrick and every member of the expanded band (even Ruth on bongos!), all over the vamp from A Pound For A Brown! The final show’s version is similar to the 28th (solos over the Pound vamp) but runs about half the length. What makes this version special though, is it features Big Ruth performing the entire Be-Bop Tango on marimba while Patrick lays down a cool fretless backing. The released take features a guitar solo from Frank, but this was actually overdubbed in the studio. Every single performance of this tune is uniquely fantastic and well worth a listen. Each take is a highlight of their respective show, and part of what makes listening to all four so much fun.
Titties ‘n Beer – This dumb, funky, goofy tune loosely based on Stravinsky’s “L’Histoire Du Soldat” reappears on this tour, and we nearly get exactly what was released on ZINY, but with one big exception. At the time of recording this tune was titled Chrissy Puked Twice, which is based on a verse that was ultimately edited out of the final released version. The missing verse goes: “It was 11 o’clock upon a Friday night/You know the girl and me was feeling outta’ sight/We had twenty reds and a big ol’ pile of weed/You know we drank some wine and then we LSD’d”. This verse would come right after the “ride up the Mountain of Mystery” line, but didn’t add a whole lot to the tune and really isn’t missed (at least not by me). On most tours, Frank would recite his “1000 years old” speech (as heard on Baby Snakes), but he decided to leave it out of these performances for whatever reason. Terry/The Devil and Frank’s debate is mostly scripted, but if FZ is in a good mood it can venture into some amusing improv (which is fortunately common on this outing). In New York we get a ton of funny dialog, ranging from Punky Meadows to pickles to John Smothers with everything in between. This song gets a lot of hate for being one of Frank’s stupider sex songs, but that is 100% what it’s setting out to be. It’s a dumb little tune with a ridiculously funky beat that almost always makes me chuckle. What more can you ask for?
The Torture Never Stops – This Zoot Allures classic returns in fantastic form. This wasn’t originally part of the setlist for this run, but Frank dropped America Drinks after the 26th and used this song in the second slot for the following nights. This band’s take is the same arrangement as the album version, sex noises over the solo and all (The version on ZINYCD is from the 29th, and is a great representation). Frank does a fantastic job with the low, eerie vocals, and Patrick and Terry push him to great heights during his solo. With wonderful solos in each performance, we get a regular masterclass in guitar. In the end, this is a band that understands The Torture, and they know exactly how to make this slow-burner shine.
Solo Table:
Frank and Don’s Intros and Outros (released segments are in italics):
1976 12 26 – Palladium, New York, NY
Don Pardo Intro: “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Ron Delsener is proud to present the most important musical event of 1976, the concert New York has been waiting for since the old days at the Garrick Theatre. Hi! I’m Don Pardo and it gives me a great personal thrill to be able to shout at this time the name of the group that will bring you an evening of music designed to BLOW YOUR MIND! Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, here it is, ZAPPA!”
FZ Post-Peaches: Hello, there! Well, you know, merry Christmas, happy New Year, all that crap… Well, there certainly is a lot of you out there, aren’t there? We have a special program tonight that consists of some of your old favorites that never get played and some brand new stuff that you’ve never heard before. But anyway, this next piece we’re gonna play is a combination. This is a special combination event. It starts off with something that might be familiar to you It’s from the Absolutely Free album and it’s called America Drinks, but the way it’s arranged is it starts off with an imitation of an old time corny orchestra playing that kind of song, and then it goes out, it gets stranger and stranger until it goes into this other piece called The Black Page Part 2, and then after The Black Page Part 2 it comes back to a sort of really drunken version, y’know the ultimate perversion of the theme and then disappears at the end. Okay? Here is uh, the deluxe version of America Drinks.”
FZ Pre-Punky’s Whips: “This is one of the brand new ones. This is a song that I wrote for Terry, our drummer, because of a special problem he has, and Don Pardo is gonna tell you about it right now”
FZ Pre-Come: “Now we have something quiet for you, this is a ballad, and, uh, it’s also a new song, the name of his song is I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth”
FZ Pre-Enema Bandit: “Okay, This is a very serious sort of song, a kind of a song that actually requires the services of a professional NBC announcer, that’s why we’re gonna turn it over once again to the golden tones of Don Pardo, to set us up for the next one(?), Take it away Don… Don, take it away!!!”
Don Pardo Intermission: “And that’s not all ladies and gentlemen, there’s more, more, more! When they come back, back, back! You can relax for a few moments up there in popcorn land because it’s INTERMISSION!”
FZ Pre-Sofa: “A waltz for you”
FZ Intros Don Pre Slime: “Alright, ladies and gentleman,I mentioned in the radio spots that were attendant to this program that Don Pardo was actually going to be seen live by the human race here on stage tonight, Now this is the song where we actually reveal the wonderment that is Don Pardo. He’s holding up back there, he’s getting his shit together right back in that room. As you know everybody on television has a very bad memory, that’s the first thing you need in order to get a job on television as an announcer is a terrible memory. So he could not actually memorize the words to this song that he’s gonna do with us and he went to the great extreme of making his very own cue card which he must read off of during this song. Y’know just so he has that TV feel when he comes out. This is uh, we’re gonna dedicate this song to Don, this is a song about the industry Don works for, and the name of this song is I’m The Slime”
FZ Over Slime: “Thank you, Don. [Don Pardo: Hey, Frank! Hey, I did it, Frank . . . Yay, we did it! Didn’t we?] FZ: That’s right, we did it. [Don Pardo: Yay, yay, yay.]”
FZ Pre-Purple Lagoon: “Thank you. And now, for a little piece of teen-age ecstasy that’ll give Patrick, our bass player, a chance to show off, this is a song that we did on the Saturday Night Show, which uh—in the section where Belushi came out and was the Samurai saxophone player—unfortunately we don’t have a Samurai saxophone player tonight so you’ll have to use your imagination. We have an insert in that area, with a little bit of S&M allusion. The name of this tune is The Purple Lagoon.”
FZ Pre-Find Her Finer: “Something to relax you with from our new album”
FZ Encore Break: “Before we go ahead and play I’d like to introduce the members of the group to you. Ruth Underwood on percussion, Eddie Jobson on keyboards and violin, Terry Bozzio on drums, Patrick O’Hearn on bass, I see that sign, Ray White on guitar, Dave Samuels on Timpani, Tom Malone on various instruments including trombone, trumpet piccolo and et cetera (?), Randall Brecker on trumpet, Lou Marini on alto sax, I forgot the other Brecker brothers first name on uh, Mike Brecker on tenor sax! and Ron Cuber on baritone sax. And during this number [Fan: Dinah-Moe Humm!], Oh we’ll get to Dinah-Moe Humm, that’s easy to play, but first we’re gonna play a song, that I was gonna set up(?), oh just listen to it, the name of this song is Black Napkins”
FZ Pre-Dinah-Moe Humm: “Thanks again for coming to the show…I told you earlier that we would do Dinah-Moe Humm, so I guess we have to do it. I do get tired of doing that song, but if that’s your idea of a good time you got it.”
FZ Pre-Penis Dimension/Montana: “We have prepared this medley see, we have these two songs that are stuck together. One of them you might remember and the other one I’m sure you’ll remember. The only problem is that hooking them together, we didn’t really practice it very much, so it might fuck up when we stick ‘em together. But the first song is, uh, I won’t even tell you the name of it.”
1976 12 27 – Palladium, New York, NY
FZ Intro: “Good evening! Why it’s Santa Claus! Well, thanks for coming to the show tonight. We’re gonna start off with uh, a song that we get a lot of requests for but we don’t often play because we don’t often have this kind of a deluxe, elaborate New York kind of a set up. The name of this song is Peaches En Regalia”
FZ Post-Black Page #2: “Thank you. Actually we played that wrong, the name of that last number was The Black Page, Part 2. Part 1 comes later ’cause it’s harder.”
FZ Pre-Punky: “This next, The next tune we’re gonna do is entitled Punky’s Whips. And this is a very special event because tonight is Terry Bozzio’s birthday. Terry is our drummer. Terry is the Birthday Boy tonight. And I’m sure we all wish him well! However, let’s be honest about it, friends and neighbors, that poor son of a bitch is sick. Because, you know, I’ve heard of some really perverted things in the rock & roll business but his true story is about the worst that I’ve heard. And this song that we’re gonna do tells—well, not his complete life story but the story of his most recent exploits in the rock & roll field. And, uh, to help us out with the set-up for the story—and this is a true story—to help us out with the set-up we have imported to you, direct from NBC, none other than the golden voice of Mr. Don Pardo! Don, are you back there? Test your microphone, Don, tell me if you’re with us. [Don Pardo: In today’s rapidly changing world…] Hey! Wait, wait! Wait! Not yet. Okay, just wanted to see if it was working. Ah, here we go… Punky’s Whips… One, two, three…”
FZ Post-Punky: “Our birthday boy, Terry Bozzio! Sad but true… Just a minute…”
FZ Pre-Come: “All right, we have a—ahem—you’ll excuse the expression, folks—a ballad to play for you now. This is a tender succulent number entitled I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth. Alright here we go… Dinah-Moe’s later”
FZ Pre-IEB: “And now, a true story with another fantastic introduction brought to you through the courtesy of NBC. Take it away, Don Pardo!”
FZ Post-Enema: “Thank You! Michael thanks you also…”
FZ Pre-Sofa: “This is a song from an album that we made that didn’t really sell worth a shit, but y’know, can’t win ’em all. The name of the album was One Size Fits All. I thought it was a very nice album, but y’know when you’re dealing with a company like Warner Brothers you just can’t be sure you’re gonna get results when you put out a piece of product like that. But anyway, here’s one of the, actually one of the more tune-ful tunes from the album, a waltz entitled Sofa #2”
FZ Pre-Slime: “Now let your minds drift back, the older members of the audience might crave(?) a hint of nostalgia at the time, this is a flashback to the Fillmore East in the late 60s. Yes ladies and gentleman have we got a light show for you tonight, pulsating blobs and everything! And we have the perfect song to go with it, and we also have the perfect personage to help us sing that song. He’ll be coming out in a moment. He’s going to actually show his body to you. Don Pardo will come out and he will sing this song which is entitled I’m The Slime”
FZ Mid-Slime: “C’mon dance a little bit, get down Don Pardo get down down down, Okay now do the Philly Dog”
FZ Pre-Purple Lagoon: “Alright This next number is a uh, this is going to go into mysterious zones, this particular piece. We’ve never played it in this form; tonight is our new experimental version of a tune called the Purple Lagoon and the middle section of it is for the jazz buffs and buffets that are in the audience tonight, because the central area in this tune will purportedly contain many hot licks. At least that’s what we want to happen.”
FZ Pre-Find Her Finer: “Thank you. Okay, it’s time to relax again, listen, this is a song from my new album, it’s called Zoot Allures, and uh, we actually had the audacity to release this song as a single—obviously it won’t go anywhere, it’ll go the same place as that other song we just played, Big Leg Emma, which was a single that we had out in 1967. Ah-hem. The name of this song is Find Her Finer”
DP Encore Intro: “…the spectacular, the awe-inspiring, mind-boggling, crotch-throbbing tones of the greatest new undiscovered group in America, a group so unspeakably marvelous that their own record company can’t even figure out what to do with ’em, and so, to be on the safe side, they’re doing absolutely nothing! Let’s hear it for them, it’s ZAPPA!” [FZ: “Thank you, the name of this song is Black Napkins”]
FZ Pre-Dinah-Moe Humm: “Okay, now here’s the song which is the real reason why most of you came to the show tonight”…“Hey get Down Frank! Get up Frank!”
FZ Pre-Montana: “We’re gonna do our sterling imitation of a human jukebox again and play another hit for you, the name of this song is Montana”
1976 12 28 – Palladium, New York, NY
FZ Intro: “Good evening folks! Alright, okay in the balcony, okay in the mezzanine, okay in the back, okay in the front. Well we have a whipping little program for you tonight folks, it’s slightly unusual from our normal kind of a New York program. Some of you will probably, uh, some of you won’t like it, some of you will like it alot, and the rest of you will keep asking to hear Dinah-Moe Humm, which we will play at the end of the show. But to begin with we’re going to start off with some other things that we don’t usually play in the meantime. This show is dedicated to several people who happen to be in the audience tonight, there’s Ruth’s mother, Ruth’s sister Freckles, Ruth’s brother Charlie and Howard Shore, who lent us the musical parts for the arrangement that we’re going to play right now, a song called Peaches En Regalia”.
FZ Pre-Black Page #2: All right now, watch this… Let me tell you ’bout this song. This song was originally constructed as a drum solo. The first part that was written out was the actual drum set part. It was, uh, a recreational exercise for Terry Bozio. The name of the song is The Black Page. The reason it’s called the Black Page is that there’s so many dots on it that the page appears to change color. That’s right. Now, after Terry learned how to play “The Black Page” on the drum set, I figured, well, maybe it would be good for other instruments. So I wrote a melody that went along with the drum solo, and that turned into “The Black Page, Part 1, The Hard Version.” Then I said, well, what about the other people in the world who might enjoy the melody of “The Black Page” but couldn’t really approach its statistical density in its basic form? So, I went to work and constructed a little ditty which is now being set up for you with this little disco type vamp. This is The Black Page, Part 2, The Easy Teen-age New York Version. And I won’t feel bad at all if you get up and dance in your seat because it’s such an infectious little tune, we think this new dance craze will soon be sweeping the audience, y’know what I mean? So if you hear the tune and the tune sounds like something that would really move you to physical manifestations of delight, pure delight in the audience, just have a good time. Get down with your bad selves so to speak to The Black Page, Part 2. Oh and Ruth is going into a panic because Charlie’s here, she needs more light on the stage. Go and give her some lights over there. Give Ruth some lights! She chumps this one it’s all over.”
FZ Post-Black Page #2: “Thank you, Did anybody dance?”
FZ Pre-Black Page #2, Take 2: “Y’know what, you were supposed to play that on the alto sax remember? It’s much nicer when he plays it on the alto then you get it in fourths all the way though, y’know what I mean? As a matter of fact we’re gonna play it again just so you can hear it correct(?). Of course I have an ulterior motive for doing this. It’s not really that you guys want to hear it again, it’s, we’re recording this thing, see, and we’d like to get the right version on the tape. Just think of this song as the missing link between Uncle Meat and the Be-Bop Tango… Alright just to make sure we’re gonna get it right, Give ‘em an A, get everything really in tun… I’m so glad I don’t have to play this song, [Fan: “Do It right” ] That’s right, do it right, that’s what I always say!”
FZ Post-Black Page #2, Take 2: “The man in (burning?) question right here(??), and… you’ll be delighted to know, you conservatory folks will be delighted to know that a little later in the program we are going to play the hard version of The Black Page and just sandwich it in with something else(?) And not only that as an extra bonus because Bozzio just had a birthday yesterday, we are going to perform the original version with a drum set solo, with some accouterments on the side. Now just be quiet, just be quiet” [Fans: “where’s Bianca?”] “Yes of course Dinah-Moe Humm I know why you came down here.” “Oh is Jason(?) over there someplace? Tex?…”
FZ Pre-Punky: “Oh you wanna know where Don Pardo is? Good thing you asked because he is here and he is involved in the next number… This is a special, listen carefully here folks, this is a special miniature oratorio, that features not only the drum sticks but the golden voice and perverted social tendencies of our drummer Terry Bozzio [Terry says something I can’t make out] The name of this song is Punky’s Whips, it used to be called Punky’s Lips but it is now called Punky’s Whips. Are you ready Don Pardo?”
FZ Pre-Come: “This is a, uh, quiet song…[Fans: “HEY FRANK”] What? Huh? Listen you shouldn’t burst into song like that because remember Parellis is sitting back there by the mixing console. The name of this song isI Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth”
FZ Pre-Enema Bandit: “And now ladies and gentleman, it’s time for Don Pardo to introduce this song to you. Don, are you ready?” [Don: “Ready!”] “Give it to them Don!”
FZ Pre-Sofa: “Now we’re gonna play a song now, uh— This song is from an album called One Size Fits All… Well I’m surprised you people have heard of it—didn’t sell worth a shit, but that’s not your fault. We have Warner Bros. to thank for that. We got— By the way, some of you might have been here last night—we ran a slide on the uh, screen. It said, “Warner Bros. Sucks,” and we’ve got some irate phone calls today. Got a call from one of the big people at Warner Bros.—one of the people that you can’t ever get on the telephone—this guy actually called up and said, “I’ve heard you had a banner at your concert the other night in New York that said, ‘Warner Bros. Record Company Sucks’,” and Bennett had to tell him that, “No, it was only a slide.” And then the poor guy who shall go nameless and other things, he said, “Isn’t there some way that we can make Frank stop saying bad things about our record company?” And there is a way to make Frank stop talking about Warner Bros., but it’s not going to be easy. The problem with this song we’re gonna do right now, and see, Perellis thought this song was gonna be a hit. I think he thought this song was gonna be a hit. Now, I always liked the song—some of you may still like the song, but there’s no way in the world this tune could be a hit. Because, first of all, the words were in German. Now, we’re not even gonna do the words, we’re just gonna play the tune. The name of this song is Sofa #2.”
FZ Pre-Slime: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment that you’ve all been waiting for. Don Pardo—who as you might know is one of the fixtures for the past 33 years—the fixtures at NBC television. One of the— One of those voices that you just can’t escape. And nobody ever gets to see Don Pardo. He’s always hiding in the back. Yes, there! He has a picture of Don, isn’t that sweet? That’s when he first arrived at NBC in 1933. Tonight Don is going to make the big step forward. He’s going to come out, he’s going to expose himself. He may even circulate among you. We don’t know how crazy he could get. He is also going to sing on this song. And the name of this song is I’m The Slime.”
FZ Mid-Slime: “C’mon Don. Do you wanna see Don Pardo go fucking crazy? Egg him on New York! He’s going to go fucking crazy!” [At End Of Solo] “How was it, Don? Did you have a good time?… Don… Give me five….. See ya later. Now watch this!”
FZ Post-Emma: “How many people here tonight used to go to the Garrick Theater and hear that song? A mere fistful that’s good!….And now, heh?… that’s right, that’s right just keep talking to me”
FZ Pre-Purple Lagoon: “Alright, the name of this song, to settle all arguments about it, the name of this song is The Purple Lagoon. Yeah then there’s an insert. The insert in this case will be a reprise of the vamp from a Pound For A Brown during which members of the horn section in all their splendid radiance will improvise and all kinds of peculiar things will happen on stage of a spontaneous nature, and of course, the light show! But keep your eye on Patrick, the bass player, y’know what I mean?”
FZ Post-Purple Lagoon: “Well folks, You have just heard a very deluxe version of The Purple Lagoon. The solos in order are Tom Malone on trombone, Ron Cuber on the baritone sax, Dave Samuels on vibes, and then, uh, let’s see there was uh, Patrick O’Hearn on bass, and then, there’s Mike Brecker on tenor, and then uh there was a reprise by Dave Samues on timpani, followed by Ruth’s big bongo solo, followed by Randy Brecker on trumpet, followed by Lou Marini on alto sax and then when we went back to the top it was too fast, but that’s the breaks”
FZ Pre-Find Her Finer: “So now ladies and gentleman I know you came here for mere entertainment and so we have some of that for you. We have a song that is so blissfully… well what can I say, this song, it’s a rock n roll song. The name of this song is Find Her Finer. [Fan: EDGAR VAR-EES] Hey Ruth, will you leave that drummer alone so he can play the fucking song?”
FZ Pre-Manx: “Now this is the part of the song—yes, it’s rock & roll all right, look how cheap this is, hey—this is the part of the song where I’m supposed to set you up for the next tune, which is a little bit on the weird side, see? And it also gives them a chance to get their music ready, you know, so yes, watch this. This song used to be called “Mars Needs Women,” but since Bozzio went to the Gilded Grape and sort of had a modification of his social life, became very impressed with the MC—it’s not just Punky’s pictures that’s influencing our drummer, you understand—Terry has fallen under the magic spell of the MC at the Gilded Grape. A man, a great man, a great MC, right up there with Don Pardo, a man that we have named Manx—his real name is Timothy, we call him Manx ’cause of the way his haircut is. If you go to the Gilded Grape you can see Manx over on the side, with this little podium, much like this thing here, and this little Arthur Godfrey mike, his champagne cocktail and his long, long, long cigarette, which never gets short, short, short. And he’s the guy that introduces all the fantastic dancers of the Grape. Make sure you go down there on Wednesday night. Try out the Grape, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. And now, Manx Needs Women.”
FZ Pre-Titties: “Alright back to the real world again”
FZ Pre-Burgers: “Alright this is another one of those, this is another one of those, uh keep talking Frank until everybody gets ready numbers. The name of this song, folks, lemme get my guitar, the name of this song is Cruising For Burgers.”
FZ Pre-Dinah-Moe Humm: “Thanks a lot. Okay, all right. This is it. Yes, yes, yes. We’re here to please. It’s Dinah-Moe Humm time… All right!”
FZ Over End Of Dinah-Moe Humm: “Alright alright! Ruth Underwood on percussion, Eddie Jobson on keyboards, Terry Bozzio on drums, Patrick O’Hearn on bass, Ray White on guitar, Dave Samuels on percussion, Tom Malone on trombone, piccolo and stuff, Randy Brecker on trumpet, Lou Marini on piccolo and alto, Mike Brecker on tenor, Ronnie Cuber on bari, and you in the audience! Goodniiight!”
DP Encore Intro: “…the greatest new undiscovered group in America, a group so unspeakably marvelous that their own record company can’t even figure out what to do with ’em, and so, to be on the safe side, they’re doing absolutely nothing! Let’s hear it for them, it’s ZAPPA!”
FZ Pre-Montana: “I don’t suppose it really matters if I’m in tune, what the hey it’s rock n roll. The name of this song is Montana”
FZ Post-Montana: “Goodnight you’ve been a red hot audience”
1976 12 29 – Palladium, New York, NY (Audience B+/B-)
FZ Intro: “Nice… We have a note along with the bullets, it says, ‘Please, give this to the Ohio Enema Bandit. We love your shoes.’ It’s the Illinois Enema Bandit—unless there’s another one working in Ohio, but if we find one in Ohio we’ll certainly give those to him. ‘This is from Diane and Ellen. Thank you very much’… Well, ladies and gents, welcome to the last of our New York concerts, and I’d like to say that we have enjoyed hitting on this series of shows for you and we’re gonna try and make this one the very best, most special one… I know that many of the people in the audience have bought tickets to the whole series of concerts, and uh, we think that’s… that’s telling us something about the kind of fans we have in New York—you guys are out of your fucking mind, aren’t you?… Well, that’s nice. We like to have people like that… And tonight we’re going to open the same way we did for the last few nights, with a song that is very close to my heart, folks… Huh? Muffin Man? No, it’s not Muffin Man, no, guess again… No, wrong again, the name of this song is Peaches En Regalia.”
FZ Pre-Black Page #2: ”All right, everybody get down and get funky. I mean, really, you know, f— Just as funky as— Just as funky as a donkey. You know what I mean?… While we get the groove going here for a little number entitled The Black Page, I’m gonna drink some of this Alka-Seltzer.”
FZ Pre-Montana/Penis Dimension: “You wanna hear Montana, huh?… Let’s see, ah… Okay, I’ll tell you what we’ll do, ah… We’ll give you two for the price of one, see? We’ll— We’ll do Montana, and, uh—but first we’ll do another song—this song never gets played anymore, you know, it’s— This song never was a hit, and it never will be a hit, but in spite of that fact, we figured that it’s exactly what you need here tonight. I mean, Ron Delsener made this all possible just so you can hear this song. The name of which is Penis Dimension… So if you guys can change your music around up there, right?… One… Yeah, we’ll play “Dinah-Moe Humm” later, so stop asking for it… Now just behave, ’cause we’re recording this, so behave, okay?… One, two, three…”
FZ Pre-Punky: “This is the, one of our new songs, one of the more spectacular events of the program. This is our miniature oratorio for 1976/77 time period [sic]. This is something that features our deluxe drummer boy Terry Bozzio in the vocal spotlight. Some of you who have been to the shows earlier this week probably know that this song is a little bit perverted, y’know? Then again maybe it’s not perverted, maybe it’s just a normal thing for a drummer that comes from us sorta from the jazz world. Maybe he’d change over to uh, lipstick and uh, feathered undergarments not too long ago. Lets see how are we gonna change, I know I’ll turn about and I’ll go one two three then we’ll go into the vamp and Don Pardo will talk. [They do, but Frank stops Don 20 seconds in] “no, no, no, no, wait, wait, hold it Don, wait, hold it… you didn’t have your microphone on, Davey shame on you, okay, oh it wasn’t loud enough, well let’s do it again. Do it perfect, this is New York!. We’re gonna pretend like we’re gonna start all over again, it’ll almost be as if we did start again, you see?”
FZ Pre-Come: “Alright, the name of this song is I Promise Not To Come In Your Mouth”
FZ Pre-Enema Bandit: “And now folks, it’s time for Don Pardo to deliver our special Illinois Enema Bandit-type announcement. Take it away, Don!”
FZ Pre-Sofa: “Alright, this is a song from the album entitled One Size Fits All. That’s right, the name of the song is Sofa”
FZ Pre-Slime: “And now a little bit of nostalgia for the old folks, here we have the screen which will present to you the last tragic romance of those golden days at the Fillmore east when rock n roll groups had light shows and everything. [Cut] Pulsating blob of media, a song called I’m The Slime”
FZ Mid-Slime: “All right, do you wanna see Don Pardo go fucking crazy?… Egg him on New York!… Give it to ’em, Don… Oh, come on, Don. Get down, Don Pardo… 33 years in NBC and it’s come to this…”
FZ Pre-Pound: “The incredible dancing stylings of Don Pardo… Get down, Don!… All right, we’re gonna make a dramatic segue into another song that emanates from the Uncle Meat album. The name of this song is A Pound For A Brown. Don’t forget the segue, you guys.”
FZ Pre-Purple Lagoon: “Thank you!… Awright, awright… You know it’s time… You’re welcome! You know it’s time for a song called The Purple Lagoon. This is for all the jazz buffs and jazz buff-etts in the audience… You’ll note that in the middle of this there’s going to be some uh, jazz-type solos played by various wonderful members of our New York finest horn section, ladies and gentlemen. And, as if that weren’t enough, there’ll be a luxuriant punk-rock-type avant-garde bass solo by Patrick O’Hearn. But, the crowning moment of the song will be when Ruth Underwood has the audacity to play the melody from the Be-Bop Tango on top of the vamp—I knew we had Be-Bop Tango fans in New York!… All right!… I always knew I could write an unforgettable melody, that’s one of them, I’m sure. Anybody who— Anybody can hum along with the Be-Bop Tango, just go and get yourself hospitalized right after the show. And she’s not only gonna play the melody to the Be-Bop Tango, but she’s gonna do it against the vamp from the— from Pound For A Brown, which we’re going to insert in the middle of this sort of a musical uh, musical chairs-type melody, you know what I mean? Okay, here we go. We ain’t lookin’ for your tits Ruth. I know a kid(?), Charlie was watching for your tits [Ruth plays Hearts and Flowers]”
FZ Pre-FHF: “Alright, it’s entertainment time again. This is a song from our new album, entitled Zoot Allures [recording cuts]”
FZ Post-FHF: [Gail: “No! I just wanna get some really good shots of the band!”] “Go ahead, get some good shots of the band, I don’t care. You know, some people’ll do anything to get good shots of the band… Ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife, Gail. She’s down here tonight—she’s disguised as Linda McCartney… And uh, I just wanna say one thing before we end the song… Hah hah hah hah heh heh… Well, you always— Hah hah hah… You’ll know, you’ll know that the Golden Age of Rock & Roll is upon you when Paul McCartney comes out on stage and does that to Linda—then you’ll know… Meanwhile, Gail, I hope you get some really good shots of the band.”
FZ Pre-Manx: “Let’s see, this is supposed to go into another song, oh yes! Back into the world of weirdness ladies and gentlemen momentarily for a little tune that’s entitled Manx Needs Women. I hope we get it right this time” [Improvisations] “And for our next number”
FZ Pre-Burgers: “Alright, alright, that, that’s enough for the Devil and his famous pickle. We’re goin’ to make another dramatic if, if somewhat, rickety segue into another song called ‘Cruisin’ For Burgers,’ wait a minute…. Why, what marvelous work! … Claus Wiedemann ladies and gentleman… Here we go. Let’s just, tell you what, so we get a good version of it. Let’s just stop and count it off so it should be the right tempo, okay? Cut!”
FZ Post-Dinah-Moe Humm: “All right! Good bye, New York!… Thanks for coming to the show.. Hey, before we go away I wanna bring the horns here, introduce them to you, so that you can appreciate their splendor. Tom Malone on trombone. Randy Brecker on trumpet. Ron Cuber on baritone sax. Lou Marini on alto. Mike Brecker on tenor. Ray White on guitar. Patrick O’Hearn on bass. Dave Samuels on timpani—come on down here so they can see your body, David. Little Skinny Terry Ted Bozzio on drums. The succulent yet ever so demure, Edwin Jobson on keyboards and violin. […] And of course, the queen of rock & roll, Ruth Underwood!”
Don Pardo Encore: “And now, once again, the incredible, the unbelievable, the magnificent, the spectacular, the all-inspiring mind-boggling crush-throbbing tones of the greatest new undiscovered group in America, a group so unspeakably marvelous that their own record company can’t even figure out what to do with ’em, and so, to be on the safe side, they’re doing absolutely nothing. Let’s hear it then, it’s ZAPPA!”
FZ Pre-Black Napkins: “Yes, Warner Bros. Records does suck… Before, before we play this uh, little event for you, I’d like to tell you why I think Warner Bros. Records sucks. This is an— This is an actual quote from the president of Warner Bros. Records. This is from a meeting that our manager had over there last week. They went in to find out whether or not they had taken any ads or run any radio spots for the new album, and so they brought out the sheet that tells what they had done, and Mo Ostin, the president of Warner Bros. looked at the sheet and he himself said, “Why, this is appalling!” ‘Cause they haven’t done anything, see? And so Bennett says, “Well, what do you think we have to do about it?” And Mo says, “Well, you know what? The next time Frank makes an album we should have a meeting”… And so, we’d like to dedicate this song to Mo and all of the rest of his business dinners for the rest of the year, may they all be accompanied by black napkins. One, two, three…”
Life On The Road 